


School Thoughts

by Sarha_Fishy



Category: Original Work
Genre: High School, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Melancholy, Poetry, Rants, Sad, School, expectations suck, i have a headache, overwhelming, school is stressful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 03:21:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29619819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarha_Fishy/pseuds/Sarha_Fishy
Summary: This was originally going to be about long-gone memories but I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety around school recently and ended up just ranting about some of the things I've been feeling. I wasn't going to post this since it's quite personal but then again I don't really care so enjoy I guess!





	School Thoughts

School Thoughts

I spend most of my day thinking about school. 

From the seven-ish hours, I spend in school

to the hour I spend riding the bus 

trying to remember all the work I missed and everything I still have to get done. 

The time I spend actually getting my homework done, 

and all the hours I spend staring at my computer unable to get anything complete. 

The hour or more I spend trying to fall asleep creating ridiculous scenarios in my head, 

yet school still creeps in. 

All the times I have to listen to my parents as they yell at me to get my work done. 

The times I wake up in the middle of the night 

because my anxiety about school work has gotten so bad 

that I can’t even focus on sleep. 

All the times I think about how much I could be doing. 

All the times I start to break down, 

knowing that my family will be disappointed in me.

The time I spend wondering if something is wrong with me 

or if I’m just too weak to keep up. 

The times I freak out when talking about college and the future. 

The times I cry hearing people say I’m smart, 

despite me knowing that I can’t keep up 

The times I wish for people to just let me be mediocre.

Growing up being smart sucks.

It felt good to always be a the top,

Always moving forward.

But now all that’s left are expectations and false words of praise,

The empty feeling of being someone worse than everyone thinks.

The amount of time hearing that “You are smart but…”.

I don’t want this,

This pressure to maintain balance,

When I feel myself constantly sinking without the people around me understanding,

Or at least the people who can change something.

And I know I’m not the only one,

Because the only people who know what I feel are other kids,

Other people with expectations higher than they can and want to reach.


End file.
